Writing Tips- Literary Humour

First, I would like to apologize for neglecting my blog; I know I haven’t posted in a long time. I won’t be able to blog much anymore because our internet minutes are greatly reduced. However, here are rather amusing “tips” I found in a book on writing. I hope you enjoy it and notice the humour.

The Thirteen Gremlins of Grammar

1.        Correct speling is essential.

2.     Don’t use no double negatives.

3.      Verbs has got to agree with their subjects.

4.     Don’t write no run-on sentences they are hard to read.

5.     About them sentence fragments.

6.     Don’t use commas, that aren’t necessary.

7.      A preposition is not a good word to end a sentence with.

8.     Remember to not ever split infinitives.

9.     Writing carefully, dangling particles must be avoided.

10.   Always use apostrophe’s correctly.

11.      Make each singular pronoun agree with their antecedents.

12.   Join clauses good, like a conjunction should.

13.    Proofread your writing to make sure you don’t words out.

And, above all, avoid cliché’s like the plague.